Films: Land Shark (2017)

Alias: None

Type: Man-Made

Location: Ocean/Lake/Forest/Desert/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of average great whites.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: It's such a novel idea! A shark not confined to the limits of the water that can hunt you down no matter how far you run away. Except...the execution leaves much to be desired.

History: Somehow, a government experiment in splicing shark and human DNA has resulted in a brood of super-sharks. That is, sharks that can traverse out onto land, and kill whatever is outside the water. It's up to a couple of agents to hunt down the land sharks before they cause too much trouble.

Notable Kills: One bites off a guy's ding-dong after getting pissed on by him.

Final Fate: All of the land sharks are killed, but one of the agents then turns into a full-blown shark man. He is killed when his partner ruptures his gills and strangles him.

Powers/Abilities: Can move out of land at any given time.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 1.5-Everything about these sharks is just plain awful. Their existence is improbable, the effects are either bad CGI or the f*cking shark puppet, and ONE SHARK SCENE FEATURES A GODDMAMN SANDTIGER JPEG! In other words, these sharks should have stayed in the water.

Trivia: -A beached shark is a dead shark. They need to keep moving in order for air to properly circulate, and they only have so much energy to flail on land for a long time.

-This film was directed by Mike Polonia, who can best be described as a somehow cheaper Roger Corman. Many a ultra-low-budget monster has been made by this guy, included Sharkenstein and the absolute dumpster fire that is "Monster Movie".